The expression “Fake it till you make it” is grating because it’s so phony. There is no way we’d tell a client to substitute real skill, true values. Therefore, if you are going to bother to say anything: make sure you believe it enough to actually sound like it!
Our coaching phrase on this point: “If you are going to say if, then mean it. Be definitive and declarative.” If it’s a question: then inflect at the end but if it’s not: why do people raise their voices at then end of a sentence? Instead of making a clear strong statement that ends with a period. A strong tone. Conviction. Clarity. Strength.
There are two different people that each provide a distinctive service to us. Each of these people is very good at what they do. We don’t want to go to anyone else for these specific services but it is so painful to listen to them. I literally get anxious when one of them—a quite expert fitness instructor with a super British accent—sounds so tentative in giving her instruction. So much so that I and several of my workout mates are more focused on her uncertainty and hesitancy, worrying for her clarity, that in being able to do the next physical fitness move.
While I see this instructor in person so that at least I have her visual to prompt me, there is another service provider we have who works with us on the phone. Again: expert in what he does. But he expresses his expertise in the least confident way–too long, not declaratively, and again, his tone creates anxiety in the listener due to his lack of confidence.
Here’s the deal: Say it and mean it. Take the inflection down at the end of your sentences. Create clarity through conviction. Don’t hold back thinking that you’ll be overbearing. Worse is people not being clear on what you mean, feel, believe, are directing them to do.
Conviction. Clarity. Declaration. Without any of these, none of us could get motivated to do the next “big thing” that could be for their best good.
If you don’t believe what you say, and convey how strongly you feel about it, it’s impossible to be convicting and persuasive.
Don’t question your own declaratives. Say them clearly and convincingly. Inflection down!
